Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
