We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Help me help you realize you are a moron
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
