Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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