how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
