I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
