I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
