Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize