She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
