In the future we'll all be gay
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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