I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize