That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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