He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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