My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
