so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
