just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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