He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
