sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
