This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
