Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
