I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
its not stalking. its research.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
