Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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