our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize