I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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