what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
