i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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