I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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