These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
