we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish you could order shots online.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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