I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
