i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
