overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
