just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize