"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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