i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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