he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
