I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
