This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
