you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
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Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
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I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"