On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
