You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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