I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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