I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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