I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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