thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
