there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
