I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
