I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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