big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
