I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I will die if light touches me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.