i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
im drinking this country out of the recession.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
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I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
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Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?