I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.