Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize