dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
