she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
