What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
