She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
